Frequently asked Question

What will happen to my child when i am gone as a parent?

One of the most reassuring responses I could give in response to this question is simple.

If we look back years later at the amount of time we have all spent worrying over issues that we have no control over, we would bow our heads in regret.

One solid day after another is the best response to this question.
Enjoy every second you have now, do the best you can and leave the rest!

“We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.”
~ Fulton Oursler

Will my child ever be able to live independently?

I am so glad that there is so much support currently with regards to inclusion, supported Independent living, the disability confident employment structure and much more.

The point is, the responses to this question varies from person to person.

When discussions such as these come up, every parent wants the best.

We aspire and dream so much, just to say the least: For our children to :

Thrive in education
Get a job
Learn to live Independently and manage money effectively
Care for themselves like cooking and cleaning effectively.

However, some parents are faced with such severe situations that such dreams cannot even be conceived.
Wherever we may be regarding the challenges we face, let’s all keep hope alive by doing as much as we can with the related resources and support systems we currently have.

We should work with the related strengths and gifts that we see in the lives of our children, while we build the skills and strengths that they most definitely have.

Will this diagnosis give room for effective intervention?

There is no direct answer to effective intervention but the good news is that, once any need has been identified, it paves the way to work out the specified guided solution.

Schools and professionals alike all work out varying strategies and interventions. Parents are given a caseload of documents with baseline data highlighting the initial challenges. There are no clear-cut answers to the very many questions parents may have but we can use the information gathered as a starting point.

We start off with the need to understand fully any barriers that may be hindering our child’s progress, to fully support effective intervention strategies. This will provide a baseline with which to judge progress for whatever that would mean to the individual.

For children and young persons with special needs, progress may be measured in varying ways and no matter how small it may be, we should embrace each step with gratitude.

It is impossible to read what my child has tried to write on paper. How important is handwriting to the learning process?

Writing is one of the core skills in any educational system. It functions as the foundation for expression, communication, and comprehension. It is employed daily in most schools and is also an essential job skill used for interviews, job placements and further communication within the work environment. Even without being in one of these environments, this skill is utilized to fill up forms from bank forms to census forms, event forms and much more. The professionals’ term the lack of this ability or skill as Dysgraphia and they recognise these challenges as a neurological disorder of written expression. This disorder may occur in different ways, impairing the written ability in various stages such as gripping, scribbling, tracing, outlining, drawing, spelling, word spacing sizing, and imitating writing. The digital age offers no quick solution owing to many obvious hindering factors such as poverty, lack of resources and all. Nevertheless, we must not give up hope in our resilience to make a change: Parents should continue to work with the School closely on various accommodations that are appropriate. Some School strategies that may help include:

The use of pencils or pens with special grips.
Using a designated scribe in the classroom.
The use of a computer for notes and other assignments
Oral exams are becoming very popular now.
More time on tests and assignments.
The use of recordings on lessons provided by the teacher as recordings, or in digital form.
Use of wide-ruled or graph paper.

Conclusively parents, teachers and the community at large should all resolve to continue to seek ways to help children and young persons with such disorders, it is never too late to learn. Let us all keep hope alive while we keep searching for answers from others. Striving with resilience as we may well be just one small step away from helping one more child or young person achieve.

What attitudes and mannerisms should I cultivate in mu own life as a single parent of a special needs child?

And so, you find yourself alone after a difficult separation, hard divorce or even an unfortunate circumstance such as a long illness or even death. To worsen it all you have a child with unique needs! The expressions scream back at you; lonely, isolation, difficult, vulnerable and even depression! It all seems tough!! How can we surmount these tremendous challenges and more? How can we cultivate the well known positive mindset with attitudes and mannerisms that will make me move forward? It is time to change our perception and mindset: “You can do this!” I believe the earlier we come to terms with the fundamental situation we are faced with the better. Believe in yourself and trust that you can succeed with God on your side. Embrace the challenges and face them squarely, you have a vulnerable child waiting to be raised. Few tips:

Surround yourself with likeminded groups of friends, parents, and therapists.
Be informed of all your expectations and get yourself organised.
Embrace new ways for a balanced growth and be true to yourself.
Move forward with an optimistic view as this will be the breakthrough for purpose.
Search for the right support in your community and work closely with Schools.
We all need the right strategies and interventions that will guide us all.

You can get through this, move forward, you have a child to build and a great life ahead to live.

My Autistic male Child was sexually abused by my steward, how do I help him disabuse his mind?

This question took me quite some time to respond to…

Children and young persons with special needs are faced with a whole range of challenges ranging from barriers to learning, neglect at home, bullying at school or work. Dealing with this and more is quite overwhelming for any parent not to speak of sexual assault issues! A parent whose child or young person has been assaulted is faced with one of the most complicated aspects of parenting. This form of assault can be any form of sexual misconduct or assault: sexual contact committed by force, manipulation, threats, tricks, or even violence. The details could be gruesome, and the perpetrators may possibly be strangers, acquaintances, friends, or at worse family members! Once a parent gains knowledge of this unfortunate incident, the most important form of response should be towards the victim’s recovery process and how to forbid any future re-occurrence. Once reports have been made to the appropriate authorities, we should allow the law to deal with the issues, while we save our energy on the recovery process of our child or young person. It is pertinent to discover ways to manage your feelings as a parent, so you can focus on creating a safe environment for your child.

The Recovery Process:

This is one of the most crucial aspects regardless of age, gender, or ability. The goal is to commission the recovery process as soon as possible. Many people may react in different ways. But observe as closely as you can, your child’s reactions. The reactions for some may be quite dramatic, not wanting to be touched, even a hug might trigger and upset them. Do not be quick to say, ‘forget about it’, it will take time for most people to deal with their feelings as the recovery is a ‘process!’ If your child is verbal, listen to your child and be patient. If your child is nonverbal, then try to communicate either through picture aids, Makaton signs. or any other means of communication. The trauma could be quite shattering for some and may leave your child scared, ashamed and very much alone.

Try to guide your child not to think of the incident through engaging your child with diverting discussions, games, and activities.
Find your nearest rape and sexual assault services.
There is no need to judge yourself or your child, let your discussions always be empowered with issues that can divert attention from the incident.
Counselling services are also vital and helpful.
If you are spiritual, pray with your child and this could be one of the strongest weapons ever.
Children with special needs are also incredibly resilient, and will be able to recover from the trauma completely with no ongoing difficulties.

While this process goes on be comforted knowing that your child will regain and rebuild themselves. They will learn to heal but we must guide them proactively.

Frequently asked Question